~E~ Wow, this can be a touchy subject. Please remember I'm speaking in generalities here, and drawing from my own experience. What IS the difference between withholding and not wanting to have s*x? I think a lot of the time it depends on which side of the debate you're on, especially if you're not being honest. First, withholding. I think people DO withhold s*x, which sort of translates into bartering for s*x. For example, you didn't behave the way I wanted you to so I'm not 'letting' you have s*x with me. To me, s*x is not something to be bartered; it is something to be entered into enthusiastically by both parties. Always, every time. Lots and lots of people never come to this realization, especially since almost no one is taught that this should be so. I think the idea of withholding is also related to the idea that if someone takes you out to dinner or buys you flowers, that you are obligated to provide s*x in return - thus, if you refuse you are withho...