Living the abusive life
~E~
I love to read. He mocked me for reading, he thought it was stupid and a waste of time, I should be doing other worthwhile things like knitting. I don't knit. Strangely, if I just sat there for hours, motionless, staring at the TV he was fine with that.
I wanted to start a vegetable garden because I think digging in the dirt is fun and relaxing. He mocked me for that and insisted that it was cheaper to just buy vegetables at the store. Miss the point much?
His time was so valuable that you couldn't put a price on it. After becoming a mother, I almost never got alone time. I would ask him that day or a day ahead to stay home with OUR child so I could go to a movie, or just kick around town a little. He would refuse, and demand that I give him more notice. I would then ask a week ahead of time, he would agree, but as the day got closer he would get angrier and angrier and start a huge fight with me about his 'valuable' time and ultimately I would not get to go out without the child.
I can count the times he went to the park or zoo with me and our kids on one finger.
He would insist that I sit right next to him on the couch when he WAS home, to show that I loved him.
When he flew into a rage about something I had done, he would demand that I sit and look him straight in the eye for the entire 3 hours he was screaming at me. Yes, screaming at the top of his lungs. I still can't figure out why no one called the police.
Why would he fly into a rage? Because a food can wasn't rinsed out to his standards before being tossed. Because I saw a guy I worked with and waved at him. Because I didn't clean the top of the refrigerator. Because after an intense and very busy day, I vacuumed the living room in the evening, knowing his nurses were coming for a visit the next morning-who fucking vacuums in the evening? Because as we were driving down a hill, I stepped on the brakes so as to not be going too fast. Because I resisted his sexual advances. Because an 89 cent bungee cord had been hooked over the handle of a garbage can and he's sure the garbage collector stole it. Because I asked him not to yell at me.
I love to read. He mocked me for reading, he thought it was stupid and a waste of time, I should be doing other worthwhile things like knitting. I don't knit. Strangely, if I just sat there for hours, motionless, staring at the TV he was fine with that.
I wanted to start a vegetable garden because I think digging in the dirt is fun and relaxing. He mocked me for that and insisted that it was cheaper to just buy vegetables at the store. Miss the point much?
His time was so valuable that you couldn't put a price on it. After becoming a mother, I almost never got alone time. I would ask him that day or a day ahead to stay home with OUR child so I could go to a movie, or just kick around town a little. He would refuse, and demand that I give him more notice. I would then ask a week ahead of time, he would agree, but as the day got closer he would get angrier and angrier and start a huge fight with me about his 'valuable' time and ultimately I would not get to go out without the child.
I can count the times he went to the park or zoo with me and our kids on one finger.
He would insist that I sit right next to him on the couch when he WAS home, to show that I loved him.
When he flew into a rage about something I had done, he would demand that I sit and look him straight in the eye for the entire 3 hours he was screaming at me. Yes, screaming at the top of his lungs. I still can't figure out why no one called the police.
Why would he fly into a rage? Because a food can wasn't rinsed out to his standards before being tossed. Because I saw a guy I worked with and waved at him. Because I didn't clean the top of the refrigerator. Because after an intense and very busy day, I vacuumed the living room in the evening, knowing his nurses were coming for a visit the next morning-who fucking vacuums in the evening? Because as we were driving down a hill, I stepped on the brakes so as to not be going too fast. Because I resisted his sexual advances. Because an 89 cent bungee cord had been hooked over the handle of a garbage can and he's sure the garbage collector stole it. Because I asked him not to yell at me.
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