Tips for starting a new job

~E~

  • Your coworkers don't care to hear about your relationship with God.
  • Keep your relationship with God between you and God.
  • Ask your question and wait for the answer. Don't ask a question, take a deep breath and talk for 8 minutes about why you think you need to ask your question.
  • This place of work is different from your last place of work. Don't whine about the differences you don't like.
  • You just started. The rest of us have worked together for several years. You don't get to jump in and act like we're the closest of friends.
  • I don't care what led your daughter to text you fourteen times today. See above.
  • Don't get passive-aggressive complainy when a few of us walk down for a snack and don't invite you. Again, we are friends. You just started. It takes time.
  • Lower your freaking voice! For God's sake. (LOL)
  • Speaking in a different accent every time you walk into my office is not cute.
  • DO NOT act like I'm not doing my job training you. You don't know how things work around here. Sometimes I'm busy with things that are beyond you right now and I can't hold your hand.
  • Whine as you might, neither you nor anyone else can learn a job this completely in four weeks. Slow the fuck down.
  • DO NOT talk to employees about things that we have told you are complex and not to be discussed. *I* don't even talk to employees about this thing. I refer them to our higher-up. Way to almost really fuck things up.


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

To Protect and Serve

~E~ Or something. I've never been pulled over in my life. I was pulled over for the first time a few days ago downtown, after noticing the cruiser pull up behind me at a stop light. I remember thinking that no police officer would be stopping anyone today since the temperature was about 7 below zero. The light turned green, I pulled out and the cop immediately turned on the lights. I thought Oh shit, what?? I stopped and rolled down my window as the guy walked up to the car. He addressed me heartily by name and i had a few moments of disconnect trying to figure out where I knew him from. I wonder if they do that on purpose. I wonder what Al thought about it all, since he was sitting right next to me. My crime was that the registration sticker was missing from my license plate, it was no big deal, I was told to just go to the DMV and get new ones. Whew. I have not yet begun my life as a career criminal. Thank Maude that's over, but at least I got slightly amusing story out o...
Read more

Pomp and circumstance

~E~ Ichiban son graduated from high school yesterday! He struck a very handsome figure in his tie and dress slacks, even more so with the cap and gown. They made him remove the bandanna he had on under the cap but I was still able to pick him out of the crowd by the ponytail that flowed halfway down his back. I don't know how he felt, but it was a thrill for me to hear his name as he walked across the stage. I'm proud of my boy. I remember him as a chubby little toddler, me wondering what sort of man he would turn out to be. Now I know. He's inquisitive, very creative, athletic, smart, funny, handsome. He probably does not realize what he's got going for him; I hope he finds within himself some direction or passion. Once he taps that, there will be no limits. I also feel proud that I raised such a person. I really did the best I could against some unpleasant odds. Congratulations, Number One Son!!
Read more

Almost famous

~E~ Recently some punk kid decided to take a gun and blow some random innocent people away. He left a note saying he basically wanted to die and thought it would be cool to be famous for offing a bunch of strangers at the same time. So what do the media do? They publicize the kid, have his picture and name everywhere, endless articles about it. Wouldn't it make more sense, when these things happen, to say "this horrible crime happened here, this many people were killed by some loser jerk" and NOT publish the name and photo? No glory, right? That might prevent more loser jerks from following the same path. Right? Or is that too simple?
Read more