sunny blizzard

~E~ MADISON, Wis. -- Celebrants at Madison's citywide party will be ringing in the New Year without the traditional helium balloons. In past years, as many as 1,300 helium balloons were distributed at the U.S. Bank Eve celebration. Not this year. The event's supplier, A to Z RentAll, has stopped selling helium because of a worldwide shortage. Party planners will do a giant balloon drop instead with 2,000 balloons. That won't require any helium. Producers said supply is not meeting demand for helium. It's used in medical MRIs, in liquid crystal display screens and welding and manufacturing. So, balloons aren't high on the list when it comes to demand. Mike Keeney owns Airigami Balloon Creations in Madison. He said helium prices have tripled in the past year-and-a-half. Keeney's company creates balloon displays as well as supplying some helium. Current a tank of helium is selling for up to $175 -- up from $75. It appears a lot of things are running out

~E~ We've all lost gloves. We've all had that sinking feeling when we realize we'll have to tuck one hand in a pocket until we can get home to that extra pair of mittens. Brr. I came across this website that hopes to reunite lost gloves with their owners. It's a brilliant idea, but as I was reading the site it was a bit sad as well. The single mittens and gloves look so dejected! She also lets us know when a glove has been discovered and returned home though, so those make up for the ones that don't. It's so heartwarming. :p

~E~ I was reading another blog a month or so ago -I can't even remember the topic now- but I was shocked by the comments. A number of women discussed how they, or their little sister, or their friend, had no idea that women have three openings in their reproductive/elimination systems. These were women from age 13 to their twenties! They had heard women comment that they had to remove their tampon before they urinated so they wouldn't pee on the tampon. I, dear friends, am here to educate. Here's a link to a diagram of the external female reproductive system . Don't be grossed out. We all own one. At the top is the clitoris; just under that is the urethral opening. Next are the labia, which sort of surround the vagina. Then waaaaaaaay back is the anus. We pee from our urethra; we menstruate from our vagina, and we poo from our anus. Cleared up? :) To any men reading, a few words about menstruation; if you have or plan to have a relationship with a woman you will have to

I thought this was creative and fun!

~E~ If you need to know the time, just ask.

~E~ Several of my friends have moved away. I post these pictures in their honor.

~E~ Recently some punk kid decided to take a gun and blow some random innocent people away. He left a note saying he basically wanted to die and thought it would be cool to be famous for offing a bunch of strangers at the same time. So what do the media do? They publicize the kid, have his picture and name everywhere, endless articles about it. Wouldn't it make more sense, when these things happen, to say "this horrible crime happened here, this many people were killed by some loser jerk" and NOT publish the name and photo? No glory, right? That might prevent more loser jerks from following the same path. Right? Or is that too simple?

Believes the earth is only 5000 years old and God put the dinosaur bones there as a joke? Vote for Huckabee. Believes we cannot have freedom without religion? Vote for Romney. Believes he was actually a hero on September 11 even though many if not most of the firefighter deaths that happened that day were because of his own corruption? Vote for Giuliani. Believes that a Muslim would not deserve a cabinet post because Muslims are not a big enough percentage of the population? Vote for Romney (who is Mormon, 2% of the population. When you figure out that logic, please get back to me) Believes he can work to free a convicted rapist (possibly because his victim was a distant relative of Bill Clinton-sick, if true), rapist gets out and rapes and kills another woman, and said politician lies about his involvement in the whole thing? Vote for Huckabee.

~E~ What are the one or two things you have given as a gift that made you feel really good? My little brother and I used to watch David Letterman every single night, so I had the brilliant idea of giving him a "Paul Schaefer Kit". I included an electronic keyboard, a wireless microphone and a bald-head wig. I thought it rocked. I had a great time figuring out what to put in it, and drawing the packaging. He wasn't quite so impressed. He claims he just didn't get it. Whatevs. Although I guess the point is to make the recipient happy. My dad used to talk about a book he read and loved as a kid, called "Shaun, A Boy From Ireland". He had incredibly fond memories of it. While browsing a used book store one fine sunny day, I decided to look in the kids section (alright, I used to look for it whenever I went into a used book store) and ohmygod they had it!! I bought it, I swear I was shaking, I went home, and asked my dad "was that book you liked called Shaun

~E~ OK, I have to admit the cat is engaging on some level. She plays fetch! For real! I've never seen a cat do that. She will bring her toy over, drop it in your lap or at your feet and wait for you to throw it. She flies off to retrieve it and brings it back - this goes on for five or ten minutes. Bizarre, but really cute. She only does it with Daughter and Al though, never me. Hmph.

~E~ Shorter Dear Abby: You must totally squelch your inner self to get a man. DEAR ABBY: I haven't had a boyfriend for a while now, and I'm not sure why. Everyone says I'm cool, funny and outgoing. I play video games, sports, and do things that boys think girls would never do (like paintballing in the woods or bungee jumping over and over again).All my guy friends think I'm awesome, and I do get compliments on my looks as well. I'm not a tomboy, I wear nice clothes and some makeup, but for some reason, wwhenever I get a crush on a guy, he says it would be "weird" because I'm a "really good friend." What am I doing wrong? I love who I am and so do boys. So why don't they think I could be "girlfriend material"? -- BOYFRIENDLESS IN CONNECTICUT DEAR BOYFRIENDLESS: It may be that "guys" see you as one of them. And because of it, they don't consider you in a romantic way. Therefore, it's time to emphasize your femin

~E~ Joe Francis claims he was picked on in jail. Waah.

~E~ Puss-n-boots, Tom & Jerry, Sagwa. And Simone. I imagined fun evenings spent playing with string and feathers. Putting her on a leash and letting her hang out in the great outdoors. Having a warm bundle of fur purring on my lap on those cold winter nights. I got the purring part right. Sure, she plays and jumps and makes us laugh, and she's lovely and soft for petting. What she does at 3 am is not quite so endearing. She likes to place all of her paws on my head and let go with the loudest purring I've ever heard and she never stops to breath!! Since she's got those four contact points on my head the purring reverberates through my skull, making sleep a distant dream. Other nights she will lay innocently beside me until some inner clock tells her it's time to shove her ice cold and very wet nose right in my face. I'll throw an arm up to block her, but I peeked a few times and discovered that she sits and stares at me until she deems that there is enough room

~E~ This is pretty neat, especially if you're a word geek. You have to choose the meaning of a word; if you get it right, you earn 10 grains of rice and move on to the next level. Play here .

~E~ Why have I never heard of this? In 1979 a group of people of different races gathered to protest against the KKK. As law enforcement watched, the KKK and American Nazis pulled up, got out and started shooting. Five people were killed. Four news networks filmed the whole thing, but no one was convicted of anything. See more here. This seems like something I would have heard of somewhere along the line. I wonder why I haven't.

~E~ I'm feeling rather quiet lately, so I'll just post some random thoughts. I'm pissed that it looks like the democrats are going to go ahead with bush's choice for attorney general, Mr. "the president can break the law and it's not really breaking the law/torture is not torture" Mukasey. I visited the acquaintance I mentioned before who is in an abusive situation. She's hanging in there but not really making any progress. My friend Anthony just had a birthday and I hope he had a most enjoyable celebration. Dating advice: if you finally get a date with a woman you've had a crush on for years, and you're watching a movie together, and she says "I think that actress is cute", don't turn on her with "GOD, what are you, gay or something?" True story. Really happened, pre-Al. Also don't go on and on about how, as you've gotten older, your feet sweat and stink more, and your breath gets nasty faster. Oh, and from anot

~E~ A woman running by with her cell phone to her ear, trying to hold back the tears: "I need you at home! (someone) was in the garage with Logan and he cut his fingers off! They're taking him to the emergency room now!" As I walked into the birthing area of the hospital the first time I was in labor: Doctor: "Push! Push!" Wailing woman: "I can't! I CAN'T" Guy at a party walking past a drunk passed out woman: "She looks easy."

~E~ We were watching coverage of a recent Ironman competition on the local public access station. The announcer was some weird Howard Cosell wannabe, so he was kind of amusing and it was interesting watching the competitors. As people were crawling out of the water after the swimming portion, the guy is saying things like "Here comes a woman out of the water! Here is another woman coming out of the water! And this man has just come out of the water!" At one point a guy climbs onto shore and heads off to have his wetsuit taken off and we hear "And here is an African-American man coming out of the water! Reminds me of my friend Mohammed Ali!" Al and I looked at each other thinking, WHAT? Did he just really say that?? What year is this again?

~E~ Speaking of Japan, Al and I happened to catch a show on PBS last night about Samurai and swords. One of the main Samurai they interviewed was a woman whose father has been teaching her The Way of the Samurai. They also demonstrated how Samurai swords are crafted. Each sword takes six months and a lot of work from start to finish, some if it very delicate. I learned how the swords get their curve which was THE COOLEST! and if you ask me, I'll share the secret. I also learned how the swords get the lovely patterns on the blade of light/dark metal; before the final firing, the swordmaker 'paints' the blade with some sort of clay. When it comes through in one piece, as it does hopefully at least 2/3 of the time, that pattern is permanently set in the metal. In earlier times, they would test the strength of the blade on convicts. For example, if someone had stolen something, they'd test the sword by cutting off their arm. They preferred testing it on real live people as

My friend R (with two Ls) is going to Japan! How cool is that? I expect a postcard.

~E~ This article caught my eye. MADISON, Wis. -- Domestic violence claimed 46 Wisconsin lives in 2005, according to a new report from the Wisconsin Coalition Against Domestic Violence.The study found that 40 people were killed through domestic violence and six perpetrators committed suicide.The year before, 28 people were slain through domestic violence.In 2005, shooting was the most common method of killing, followed by stabbing, beating and strangulation. Twenty-eight minor children were left orphaned because of the violence, the report said. Does that look odd to you at all? There is zero mention of gender in this article. I'm sure most, if not all, of the victims were women but it's almost as if the writer took great pains NOT to mention that. I think that's very strange and serves to minimize violence against women by men, which is a terrible and huge problem. I went to the Wisconsin Coalition Against Domestic Violence's website, and the same wording is there . I&

~E~ Tell me one good thing about your day. Pretty please.

This letter to Dear Abby got my back up. Well, the letter was fine; it was her answer that pissed me off. Dear Abby: I'm 34 years old and have two wonderful kids ages 12 and 8. I am a single mother, employed part time. I live with my parents and need some advice. I recently met a 35-year-old firefighter who coaches football and has a child of his own. The night we met it was nice. We engaged in physical activity. He called me the next two days -- and that was it! I have called him several times since the last time he called me, and everything seemed fine with him. He said he wanted to get to know me better, so I don't understand why he doesn't call me anymore.

~E~ Flick, goes the light switch. Pop, goes the fixture. Out, go the lights in half of my house. Hmm, goes E, wondering if a call to an electrician is next on the list. I took the cover off the light fixture in the kitchen and found this bizarre set up. I've never seen one like this before. I believe I'm going shopping for tiny light bulbs today. I'm hoping that when I replace them and flick the switch again, I will have light. Wish me luck.

~E~ What have I done? I now share a house with a five-month-old orange tabby previously called Milky Way. I think we may call her Simone. That's the one name that stuck with me as I drove home tonight with her exploring, pooping and vomiting in the car (it was a long hot drive, poor thing). She is a French kitty, in my imagination, and the name Simone reminds me of the waitress in Pee Wee's BigAdventure who always wanted to go to Paris. Daughter was thrilled. Son will not be. Photos coming soon.

~E~ Every so often I read a news article about how a woman breastfeeding her child is asked to cover up, feed her child in the bathroom, or just leave the restaurant or store. These articles are often posted on blogs, and the responses are incredibly confusing. Some folks are shocked that the woman feeding her baby is confronted as though she is doing something wrong; others are shocked that a woman is 'waving her leaky tits around in public' (actual quote). These "oh my god breastfeeding is disgusting" people equate breastfeeding with pooping on the dinner table; they equate breastmilk with bodily waste fluids like urine and spit, and say if breastfeeding is allowed in public, why not peeing in public? They think both are utterly disgusting. (so if eating in the vicinity of bodily wastes is so disturbing, why do they insist a woman FEED HER BABY in a bathroom?) They also seem to think it's absolutely gross that you can "see a woman's boob in public"

~E~ Apparently a toy company came out with a Harry Potter broomstick. For kids. That vibrates. More here. Shortly after Mattel releases its Nimbus 2000 broom as part of its line of Harry Potter toys, the vibrating device begins getting the wrong sort of customer raves. "I'm 32 and enjoy riding the broom as much as my 7-year-old," says one enthusiastic mother on Amazon. That might have been one of my favorite toys as a kid.

~E~ Here's what you do the next time the Klan decides to rally. ...the 100th ARA (Anti Racist Action) clown block came and handed them their asses by making them appear like the asses they were. “White Power!” the Nazi’s shouted, “White Flour?” the clowns yelled back running in circles throwing flour in the air and raising separate letters which spelt “White Flour”. “White Power!” the Nazi’s angrily shouted once more, “White flowers?” the clowns cheers and threw white flowers in the air and danced about merrily. Hee. More here.

~E~ I recently said goodbye to another friend/coworker, and this one was even harder than the last. I've worked with A for two years and we had a good rhythm going, I think. She, I and the attorney we work with came together amazingly as a team during this crazy Green Card Summer. And I didn't realize how much I thought of her as a friend until she told us she was leaving. It was really hard the first few days when yet again I'd pass her office and -- it was empty. She's off to school halfway across the country and I wish her the absolute best. A few months ago, I lost another friend/coworker L. I met her when she needed to carpool to work for a couple of months. I have to admit I was looking forward to meeting her because I'd heard her name here and there (one of my team members had a little crush on her), and she seemed like a very cool person. She is. She's funky and smart, and I miss the emails she'd send out a few times a month wondering what our thoug

~E~ Number One Son and his girlfriend met us for lunch at the waterpark yesterday, dripping wet. After filling us in on how she had passed out after waiting in line for the rollercoaster in the hot sun for 40 minutes, and Son had not been able to catch her as she fell (she's fine) Son couldn't wait to tell us about the "big" wave pool. I had suspected there was a bigger wave pool than the one we'd been splashing around in, but I hadn't been able to drag the Little Kids very far from that area of the park. Son led us straight to it after burgers and pizza. OK, the thing is freaking HUGE. There is a channel through which the wave comes, then the area opens out into a fan-shaped pool. As we got to it, a gigantic wave came flowing towards us-- I mean gigantic. Ginormous. Freaking BIG. It looked about fifty feet high from where I was standing (but I'm sure it wasn't!). After it gets past the channel, it crests and comes crashing down, much to the delight o

~E~ When I was a kid my mom and dad would sit around on a Sunday reading the paper and listening to the radio or to records. They would often play the Clancy Brothers and Tommy Makem, so I grew up with Irish folk music. One song I always liked was "Oro Se Do Bheatha Abhaile", which was sung in Gaelic so I never understood the words. Picture a 6-year-old singing along in gibberish! Here, listen to Sinead O'Connor's version. Somewhere along the line as an adult I learned about Grainne Ni Mhaille , an Irish pirate queen who lived and pirated on the west coast of Ireland. She caught my imagination, although I could never find out much about her. Over time she must have caught other people's imaginations as well, since now a Google search will actually have more than 4 or 5 hits and there's a current Broadway play about her. When I gave birth to a daughter, Grainne (grawn-ya) was my first choice of names, but for personal reasons I chose the English version, Grace.

~E~ This question always throws me. I'll mention I had a super time at a play I saw last night, or that I really enjoyed being pregnant, and then someone drops that question. It's a very innocent and obvious question. It should be easy to answer if I'm raving about something, right? I think that for most of my (married) life no one really cared what I thought about the things I enjoyed, so I developed a habit of just enjoying things 'inside myself'. I didn't bother to learn the narrative for my experiences. I simply enjoyed them. In the last few years my life has changed a lot and there are those who would like to hear why they should go to the Ren Faire I've been babbling on about. I must be more conscious of my experiences. Are you good at explaining why you love the things you love? How do you do it?

Clearly, God has decided that Chief Justice Roberts is unfit for the Supreme Court and has made his desires known . U.S. Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts has left a Maine hospital after having a seizure yesterday afternoon at his Maine vacation home.

~E~ As I was lounging on my sofa, having called in sick, I caught a commercial starring Gary Coleman espousing the joys of making ONE PHONE CALL and having cash DEPOSITED IMMEDIATELY into his checking account. Because, he goes on to say, no one else would loan him money!! Not even family!! (I'm really not sure I would say that to a national audience, but whatever) In the 1.2 seconds their required disclosures were on the screen, I swear I saw an APR of 99%. So of course I had to go to their website to see if that could possibly be true. Sadly, one cannot avail oneself of these services if one lives in Wisconsin, Iowa, Massachusetts or a few other states, but if you live in Utah you may have the pleasure of paying up to 151% interest . Damn, I'm moving! OK, snark aside, I feel for people who think this is a good option for them. There should be laws against this. No, I am not and never will be a libertarian.

~E~ I'm feeling very much appreciated lately. What with all the green card craziness, everyone at work is feeling sorry for us, and grateful, so they are showering us with compliments and gifts. One morning I came in to a small bag of white chocolate. Yesterday, someone brought me some embroidered cushion covers from India. Today, a guy brought in pork egg rolls and shrimp egg rolls that his wife had made and I tell ya-they were addictive! I shared them out with everyone and everyone raved, they were so delicious! AND they were served in these cool bamboo containers with lids. I certainly don't expect all this, as I'm just doing my job. However, it's honestly something I would do if I were in their position. I enjoy showing my thanks. It's always great to get that acknowledgment and I want to say thanks back but then you end up in this endless thank you loop. So I'll just send my appreciation out into the Universe and y'all can have some too.

~E~ Remember a post or two ago where I described the crazy overtime weekend trying to get green card applications in before the deadline? And how the government backed out and declared that they wouldn't accept any of the applications? Apparently there has been so much pressure from so many directions that they backed off from THAT decision and accepted everything they had received, and will accept all applications until August 17. GREAT news for all those folks! It makes more work for me, but I'd rather be busy than not. My team also received an award at our company-wide meeting for all of our hard work. We are now SUPASTAH s!! You may kiss my ring.

~E~ Swimming, movieing, ducking and shopping. I took a few days off (I'm certain work fell apart without me, I'll clean the place up tomorrow) so daughter and I could hang out. On one lovely sunny day we made the pilgrimage to the Wisconsin Dells. The highlight by far was the Wisconsin Ducks. If you do not know what these are, shame on you and get googling. I had actually grown up hearing about the "Wisconsin Ducks" and assuming it was just some stupid tourist thing, but Al assured us it was really quite fun. We purchased our tickets and went to stand in line, where we were accosted and forced to have our picture taken. I was a little confused at that, but shrugged and got in line for the Duck. Now, a Duck is a military vehicle that can be driven on land or water. It has two rows of bench seats and a canvas roof up top; daughter and I sat together with Al in front of us. The driver revved up the Duck (AH! Loud!) and drove off. He was full of somewhat interesting infor

~E~ Yes, my friends, it is spider season. My house is wrapped in spiderwebs. My pals the big fat creepy spiders have taken up residence under the eaves. I'm finding webs and daddy-long-leg type spiders in my house. All I can say is, UGH !! I wonder at the disgust and fear so many of us have towards spiders. For the most part, spiders do a good thing by eating the other insect pests that bug (haha. bug.) us. But still, ugh. I DON'T want them in my house but I haven't the courage to gently put them outside like some folks do. Killing them is horrid but I still find a way to do it. Squish. Then in the trash they go. I know that the ball is in my court when I see a spider. Once I yelled at Al, "SPIDER!!!" and he just walked away and said, 'sorry babe, you're on your own'. He hates them more than I do. It's ok, AL, I still like ya. One summer I found an odd little ball of -something- on my back step, just outside the door. I poked it with a stick and it

~E~ This is so much fun! Go to http://www.simpsonsmovie.com/main.html to create your own avatar. Meet Esmerelda And meet Blue Girl:

~E~ My work involves dealing with immigration for folks who are here on work authorization. For the last 2 1/2 years, we have not been able to file green card applications for anyone due to government restrictions. In mid-May, the restrictions were lifted a bit and we were able to prepare quite a few applications for submission on June 1. We were busy. In mid-June, the new bulletin came out and suddenly EVERYONE was allowed to file for their green card, no restrictions at all, but word was it would be closed soon, possibly at the end of July. We came up with a plan, divvied up the tasks, decided how much we had to get done each day to complete 130 applications by July 31, and got to work. One big sticking point was that nothing could be sent in without a current medical exam and since the restrictions had been lifted, the clinics were packed and backed up. We got everything else ready so when we had the exams in hand we could stick them in the packet and send them off. We were on track

Yeah, I promised to start posting more and then I didn't. I do have a very good excuse though, things at work got more crazy than they've ever been and I put in 15 hours of overtime in 3 days. I'll spell it out in more detail later. Update #1: No more ticks. Update #2: The lovely lakes STINK and are a very interesting radioactive green.

~E~ I now have high-speed internet so I should be posting more fascinating snippets of my life. With my old dial-up connection, these pages either took minutes to load or didn't load at all. Thanks to Al for helping me out with the setup! Here's a cool henna tattoo I got recently. I was very impressed with it!

~E~ Ichiban son graduated from high school yesterday! He struck a very handsome figure in his tie and dress slacks, even more so with the cap and gown. They made him remove the bandanna he had on under the cap but I was still able to pick him out of the crowd by the ponytail that flowed halfway down his back. I don't know how he felt, but it was a thrill for me to hear his name as he walked across the stage. I'm proud of my boy. I remember him as a chubby little toddler, me wondering what sort of man he would turn out to be. Now I know. He's inquisitive, very creative, athletic, smart, funny, handsome. He probably does not realize what he's got going for him; I hope he finds within himself some direction or passion. Once he taps that, there will be no limits. I also feel proud that I raised such a person. I really did the best I could against some unpleasant odds. Congratulations, Number One Son!!

Ouch. No word on whether there were any injuries.

An acquaintance of mine is in a very bad spot. I had it bad, but not as bad as she has it now. All of her friends and family have turned away from her because they are sick of dealing with it. I understand, but shit-- how sick do you think SHE is of dealing with it? Why don't they turn away from the person who is emotionally abusing her and beating the shit out of her and their kid? I will never understand that. Everyone continues to be his best friend and go along with him when he puts her down and accuses her of doing Bad Stuff. Stuff which she may be doing but isn't Bad, like having a drink or going out with friends. Stuff that he is definitely doing himself in spades, AND beating up his girlfriend in front of the kids, but she's the evil bitch who is driving him to behave the way he does. Nothing is his fault. I can't do much for her but listen to her and believe her. That, from my own experience, is a huge thing in itself but it won't get her out of there. I am

~E~ As little kids we are so incredibly brainwashed. We are taught that pee and poop are the grossest things on the planet and no one, no one can know that we do these things. So as older kids and as adults, these perfectly normal bodily functions are considered embarrassing at best and shameful at worst. Lots of us cannot pee in a public restroom if another person is in there. Or we can, but we try to do it quietly. Even more of us, according to my unscientific survey, can't and won't poop in a public restroom when someone else is in there. And none of us, barring teenaged boys, is willing to pass gas anywhere! I recently read an article that proclaimed that those who pee/poop/fart in front of their significant others are doing their relationship a great disservice and should immediately cease such crass behavior. NOT doing those things helps preserve the sense of mystery. I think it just causes stomach aches. In conclusion, I certainly believe we should all be potty trained,

~E~ Thank you to all the men and women who served and gave their lives for what they believed in. My sympathies and sorrow to those who died for the arrogance and greed of those who sent them. The Green Fields of France Well, how do you do, Private William McBride, Do you mind if I sit down here by your graveside? And rest for awhile in the warm summer sun, I've been walking all day, and I'm nearly done. And I see by your gravestone you were only 19 When you joined the glorious fallen in 1916, Well, I hope you died quick and I hope you died clean Or, Willie McBride, was it slow and obscene? Did they Beat the drum slowly, did the play the pipes lowly? Did the rifles fir o'er you as they lowered you down? Did the bugles sound The Last Post in chorus? Did the pipes play the Flowers of the Forest? And did you leave a wife or a sweetheart behind In some loyal heart is your memory enshrined? And, though you died back in 1916, To that loyal heart are you forever 19? Or are you a s

~E~ Running Down the Dirt path, ankles Nearly turning in the Ruts but never quite. Occasionally Lifting her arms above her head allowing The breeze to cool the sweat between her Fingers. At last reaching her limit, slowing. Skipping the last few yards made Her feel like a kid And she laughed at Herself. Striding out Of the Urban Wilderness back To supposed civilization And looking forward to Water as her chest heaved Ever more slowly. Snapping the rubber Band out of her hair and running Her fingers through the damp Smooth strands, strolling now. Passing houses quiet In the Heat Of the Afternoon, silent in That odd high summer Doldrums-no one-wants-to- Move sort of way. She skipped Over a few more squares of sidewalk, Loving the feel of muscles in Her legs and smiling again In her joy of Being. Taking a Deep breath, Blowing It out One last time. And feeling damned good. A screen door slams, a Sudden disr

~E~ Spring is here along with sunshine and warm winds. It's eighty degrees outside, at least, and here I sit in my office in long pants and a sweater. One of my biggest pet peeves, I have to admit. Are we as a culture afraid of natural temperatures? Are we driven to uselessly use up our resources to keep ourselves freezing in the summertime? Will we literally wilt if the temperature inside reaches **gasp** 76 degrees?? I walked by an office whose occupant had his window open and I had to stop and soak up the warmth and fresh air. I told him I would totally swap offices with him as mine does not have a window. He said he'd had several people stop in already today to complain that he was letting hot air in. What the hell. It is stupid to have to take a jacket with you when you go shopping in the summertime. To have to plan ahead and wear warmer clothes if you're going to be in a store for any length of time. To wear autumn clothes to the office in high summer. I want to expe

From the son, a snake haiku for your reading pleasure. SSS-S-SS-S-SSSS S-S-SSSS-SS-S-SSS-S S-SSS-SS-S-S

~E~ I was sitting innocently at our team meeting the other morning, hoping it wouldn't be too boring, or that the guys wouldn't go on monotonously about minutiae that has nothing to do with anyone else, when the boss said he had a few awards to give out. Ah, something different! A was given an award for ownership of a project over the long term. S was given an award for diving in and helping out on a big project. And I, your lovely narrator (haha) was given the Res Ipsa Loquitor award, for hard work, extra effort and valuable insight on a short-term project. I rock. It was great to be recognized, and I was not expecting it at all. Yay me!

Tick...Al and I just chillin' on the sofa, minding our own business, chatting, drinking tea. The work day is over and we are happy to be safe and sound at home and enjoying each other's company. Al absent-mindedly brushes at his arm, then does the Oh-my-god-there-is-a-bug-on-me!! dance, then does the OHSHITIT'SATICK!!! flip out. Lucky for him it hadn't taken a bite yet. The unfortunate tick quickly met its demise. Tick...Cruising down the highway-well, ok, down a suburban road-laughing and talking and singing along with the radio. I come up to a stop sign and realize there is a bug crawling up the inside of the windshield. Upon taking a closer look I realize it is the cousin to the tick that met an early end the previous week. I come to a complete stop and make Al snatch it up, execute it and fling it out the window. I'm starting to feel a bit uncomfortable. I've seen maybe 2-3 ticks in my entire life and now I've seen two in one week. Tick...I plop down

Red Haired Mary is my mom. I couldn't have asked for a better one, frankly. I like to call her momster. She was always the most comforting person in my life, even when she was too frazzled to protect me from the torture my sister inflicted on me. I clearly remember her hollering from the other room for us to knock it off!! as though I was equally responsible for being pinned down and tickled. She took me to my first and only Badger football game, and I think she was thrilled that we had a day together filled with such excitement. We snuggled on the couch under blankets together in those cold dark f-f-freezing days of winter. My first clear memory of her -- I'm five years old. She's sitting on a chair where I try to squeeze in next to her. She says, in a strained voice, "No, honey, you can't sit with me right now." Then my dad took her to the hospital where she birthed my little brother. I suppose labor pains are as good an excuse as any to have your chair t

Ever have one of those weeks in which you just aren't yourself? I have massive writer's block. I can't write blog entries, I can't write stories, I can't REPLY to blog entries, I can't even compose an email. It's a very uncomfortable feeling. I feel like everyone is looking at me and laughing. I feel like I'm in high school again. What brings this on? Did I eat too much asparagus this week? Is it a side effect of a medication? Are there fumes coming off the new carpet at work? I wonder if everyone has days/ weeks like this occasionally, because I don't think you can tell just by looking at someone that inside they are wondering if they really belong here. I know this too shall pass but it ain't any fun when you're going through it.

I came up with this brilliant idea while having lunch at work with R. He was trying to convince me he was not quite as big a nerd as those guys who wait in line for 4 days to get tickets to the new Star Trek. So Nerd Scouts works the same way Girl Scouts or Boy Scouts works. One has to earn badges and work his or her way up to the top. I have yet to come up with the hierarchy for this whole thing, mostly because I was never in Boy Scouts and was only in Girl Scouts for a year, with a literally God-crazy scout leader, so I don't quite understand how it all works. I do know that the Nerds shall have sashes and troops and badges. In fact, Al earned his first badge the other day with this comment: " I had the couch optimized for the proper distance from the television ." This badge shall be christened The AV Club. Congratulations, Al. Check back for further info. Feel free to suggest badges and the projects required to earn one.

While coaxing her out of her den And disturbing her state of zen Her mouth opened wide Sucked my fingers inside I never touched the lizard again Now I can’t tie my scarf or my shoes Can’t zip up my fave Levi’s Blues No fingers to garnish Nor nails for red varnish Damned lizard is no longer my muse

At the farmer's market: Dad: you want to be upside down first, then cheese curds? or cheese curds and then upside down? Kid: NO, upside down AND cheese curds! At work: Kid: ACK! ACK! (like the aliens in "Mars Attacks") ACK! My doll is hitting your booty! Me: walks around corner to see four-year-old poking mom in the butt with her doll's hand. At home: My 3-year-old son, being tucked in: "Mom, Winnie the Pooh broke his anus." Me: Spends 2 hours trying to figure that one out before finally recalling that we had watched a Pooh video in which Pooh ripped the seam in his butt doing toe touches.

Lego’s on the brain Towering multicolored Castle fence barn train Lego’s on the brain Angular, not of nature Stuck in my foot. Pain

Cutest thing on the planet: A group of three-year-olds singing 'What a Wonderful World'.

My dad died on December 12, 2005. His health had been declining slowly for a few years, but that summer he started going fast. He got weaker, shakier. By October, he would have these weird moments where he just wasn't dad. They became more frequent, and many nights after visiting my parents, I went home and cried. This was not my father. On Thanksgiving, my very frail dad sat at a chair in the living room and was served on a tv tray. His appetite had been very poor but he ate well that night. Someone had made a chocolate cream pie, which got eaten up pretty quickly. He saw someone walk by with a piece and said, like a five-year-old would, "I didn't get a piece of that!" I still feel bad about that. He had a mild heart attack before Thanksgiving. Shortly after Thanksgiving, he went into the hospital again but no one was quite sure what was wrong. The moments of him as "not-dad" became more frequent. The hospital staff wanted someone with him at all times so

I'm very lucky in that I get to drive past/over the lake on my way to and from work every day. The lake is different every time I see it. The other afternoon the wind was blowing and the sky was a bit overcast. The waves were choppy and rough. As I drove onto the bridge, there were seagulls galore being buffeted by the wind as they struggled to stay even, albeit 25 feet in the air, with the waves hitting the shore. This morning the sun shining over the lake had that particular glow to it, that glow that lights you up inside and makes you feel--no, KNOW-- that good things are going to happen today.

There is so much awful news floating around this week that I am in sympathy/righteous indignation overload. It's time to take a break and focus on the good things. Five years ago I was married to a person who was utterly miserable. To deal with his unhappiness, he worked really hard to make everyone else feel worse than he did. He was very good at it. I was desperately unhappy, abused in several different ways, trying to protect my kids and keep my sanity. I had few if any friends. It's much different now. I have gotten divorced (no easy task). My children have a safe and happy harbor with me. I love them with all my heart and I hope I can show them what they deserve in life-- to be happy. My son in particular is growing into a man that I can be proud of. I've met a super man who is now my boyfriend. We get along famously! Like as famous as Simon and Garfunkel! We can act like total nerds with each other and it's a Good Thing. I'm also still trying to get used to my

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