The Denouement

I decide I would like to start dating again. I am shocked at myself, but glad.

I ask everyone I know where they met their significant other. They almost all say 'online dating'.

I think about it for a couple of months and give it a shot.

Within two weeks I start emailing a really funny and interesting guy. A month or two later, we meet in person and I immediately feel comfortable with him. I am shocked at myself, but glad.

We hit it off and spend all kinds of time together. I have new rules for myself and relationships. I believe they will serve me well.

With Al, I really have nothing to worry about.

And wow. He rocks my world. Hanging out is good. Talking is good. Learning about each other's interests is good.

Sex is good. Holy crap, it can be good! I can actually feel desire for someone. I have the space and the respect to actually feel desire for someone!! I get to choose whether I want sex or not and what can be hotter than that?? It's amazing. Absolutely amazing. I have to stare in confusion at those people who think that making sure your partner consents ruins the whole thing.

And it's all because of Al.

Comments

West Coast Midwestern said…
I don't know quite what to say, but I want to say thank you for writing this series, for speaking out. The "funny" thing that men don't seem to understand is that all of us, every woman I know, has stories like this, not necessarily the exact same stuff, but the same caliber.

I wasn't married to a man like you were, thankfully the boy I almost married dumped me and I really have no way to know what kind of person he truly is today, but what I do know about him is not good (in my book).

But the not being able to go out and ride your bike as a child in peace, the incessant cat calls, the boys and men who have always and will always think they can grab and touch whatever they want. It's a sick world, and we women are taught to shut up about it, just deal with it. Because speaking out does nothing good, usually, in my experience. Which is so sad.

One time I complained to my boss about sexual harassment by a fellow employee and the bottom line is it was not worth it, it caused more trouble than any minute amount of help, in fact, I can't think of a single way it actually helped. It only served as fodder for others to ostracize and criticize me. It was awful. I eventually quit that job (it wasn't where we both worked).

Anyway, I guess I always find something to say. Mostly I just want to say, though, thank you for speaking out, and I'm so sorry for all the injustice. You are a wonderful person.
August 1, 2009 at 4:28 PM
Charmingly Feisty said…
Thank you for commenting. This is only what came to mind when I was writing this. When I was done, so many more incidents came to mind.

Yeah, I don't understand why men don't see it except that it doesn't involve them so it's beneath their radar? Does each guy who does things like this think he's the only one? Who knows.

Love, my dear.
August 1, 2009 at 9:53 PM
Spudster said…
West Coast: I'm saddened to hear your sexual harassment situation had such a poor conclusion. I feel it's proof that job wasn't worth your time. Any _real_ manager would take those accusations with the seriousness it deserves.

Sunshine: I have learned more about the real life of a woman from you over the past few years than any woman in my life.

Thank you for sharing. I hope many men read those posts and obtain a better level of understanding. I hope many women read them and realize acquiescence is not the answer.

Loves always,
- Me
August 10, 2009 at 3:26 PM
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